Archive for November, 2012

Maybe Not Romantic, Per Se

Thursday, November 1st, 2012

You know the thing about being in love? That person makes you feel better, more comfortable, happier, more peaceful than anyone else. They can also get on your very last nerve the way no one else can. One of my favorite fictional characters, Father Blackie Ryan by Andrew Greeley, talks about a healthy relationship being one in which you only want to kill each other two or three times a week. While I won’t go quite that far, I do agree with the premise.

The best couples cross swords some times. I’m not talking about verbal or emotional abuse. But an argument, caused by two people trying to live two lives entwined? Oh yeah…that’s gonna get heated occasionally.

So how do you make romance out of an argument? At least before the make up sex? Apologize. Seriously. And not just to stop the argument or get your partner to not be mad at you any longer. Apologize for real. Apologize because you are truly sorry. Apologize because, if you meant to or not, you have hurt/angered/negatively impacted the person you love. Apologize and mean it.

Arguments are not romantic. Hurting and being hurt – not romance. Needing to apologize really doesn’t feel romantic. But a healthy relationship? Built on love and trust and respect ~ and yes, apologies? That’s romance.